Forgiveness is more about you than the person who wronged you. When unforgiveness is stuck in your soul, you will most likely become suspicious, resentful and fearful. It's about what you become on the inside when you won't let go of the hurt. "As long as you don't forgive, who and whatever it is will occupy a rent-free space in your mind." - Isabelle Holland. Is not this the truth? Don't you, like me, go over and over the situation in your head? Doesn't it affect your sleep and other areas of your life?
Your unforgiveness affects all of your relationships. You are full of distrust and your bitterness shows to others even when you think you are hiding it well. You may even become a fearful person who assigns motives to people for the things they do and say when they may
not have meant what you think at all.
You may withhold affection and even civility from those who've offended you. You may also say some harsh words not even connected to the conversation in which you are engaged. The fact is, most people will not even be thinking or caring about what is happening to you because of something you did to hurt them.
But why forgive? What is forgiveness anyway? "Forgiveness is me giving up my right to hurt you for hurting me." - Anonymous. Forgiveness comes from above. It is supernatural, for not many can forgive of their own accord. Forgiveness is a choice that often needs repeating. It doesn't mean you forget what the person did. It means that you personally don't hold him accountable any longer. "Forgiveness doesn't excuse their behavior, Forgiveness prevents their behavior from destroying your heart." (quoted from the book, Beyond Ordinary by Justin Davis, Tricia Davis)
What about if you cannot forgive yourself for something you did? I used to have a problem with anger and would not let go of blaming myself. A person can't live freely with unforgiveness in their heart, whether it's against themselves or another human being. You may still remember the wrong but once you've forgiven, the "punch" is taken out like air escaping a balloon.
"If God forgives us, we must "Be kind to one another, tender-hearted. forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." Ephesians 4:32 It is with certainty that I say, God wants us to be kind to ourselves by forgiving ourselves too.
But how do I forgive? By studying your bible, talking to God in prayer and recognizing that God's enemy, the Spoiler, desires that you hold grudges. Holding grudges can keep you from hearing God and letting him help you. Find verses in the Bible that describe forgiveness. Write them down on cards and memorize them. Call out to God for help and ask him to do what only he can do.
"Never does the human soul appear so strong as when it foregoes revenge, and dares forgive an injury."--E. H. Chapin
Penny Halder
Granny Grace Productions Retired 2015
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